So you want to start something, poke the box, step out in faith to do something risky? Great! When are you going to do it? Oh you haven't decided that bit yet, its just an idea you want to get going on sometime soon?

Does this sound like a familiar conversation from your head or with people around you? I suspect that we are all guitly of procrastinating, especially when time is precious and initiatives are risky.

You really need to put some dates in your diary though, for time that you will spend doing these things that you want to start. Stop reading and go fetch it, or your calendar or whatever planning device you use and mark in it the day or hour when you plan to start.

  ...

  ...

Right, now that you have done that, here is another new idea for you, with dates already associated with it. When was the last time you stepped aside to consider your spiritual position, to reflect on your higher purpose and to strengthen that aspect of your existence? Maybe you go to prayers regularly or have a planned time of meditation or similar. Many of you probably don't though, but might have considered doing something. But what is 'something'?

I am part of a group who runs wilderness retreats for people just like you, who want to take some time aside and consider life in all its fullness. These wilderness retreats will take you to an island and give you time to reflect but also guide you in some activities that assist you in that process. Generated from a Christian perspective they are designed to be inclusive and give you space for your own expression and thoughts in an inspiring and wild setting.

To know more, read the flyer below and then contact us for any further discussion of how it works.

I was having dinner with some friends the other night and it being Christmas, we had crackers. Someone at the table found a short measuring tape inside theirs and amidst the ongoing cracks (and non-crackery pffts of the failures), it had to be played with, particularly due to its shortness. Would it go round their waists, the ladies wondered, as in fact did some of the men.

At only 25 inches long, I wasn't entirely surprised when it barely reached round both sides of my torso! For me it was better emplyed for examining neck, biceps and such like, but it did provoke a discussion about what was important. In the midst of this we started to wonder about the value of a stretchy measuring tape. If we want to be a 25 inch waist, how brilliant would it be if we had a device that would unfailingly peg us to that standard, particularly in the post-Christmas expansion phase that we are about to embark on. One of my friends posted a status that said, "stomach now waiting to be filled repeatedly to well past its normal 'full' limit over the next few days" and I'm sure he's not alone in thinking like that. I very much doubt though that he will be joining the ranks of those concerned about the consequences.

I started to wonder how often we try to fool ourselves into thinking we have met the standard by simply changing the measurement to match where we have got to - stretching the tape to fit round us no matter how many mince pies it needs to girdle.

Whilst it would be great to know we will meet our targets, if we can only do it by cheating then it devalues our efforts entirely. A stretchy measuring tape might sell well to the self-deluded of our nation but I would far rather help folks to really get where they want to be.

So I trust that as you sit down over the Christmas period and recognise your achievements for the past year, both large and small, that you will do so with an air of celebration for something measurable and that you will set realistic goals for 2012. Enjoy what time you have to pause and reflect and I wish you all a very happy Christmas!

I had a night in with time to kill on Friday and so rented Limitless from the video shop. Okay film but a great premise based on the idea that you only currently use 20% of the full capacity of your brain. However, by taking a small clear pill, you can suddenly  make use of all of the power in your head. The 'hero' than starts making money (lots of it in fact) from his ability to process vast amounts of information very, very quickly, certainly faster than his peers. He did deliberate for a while about taking the drug but once he had experienced the phenomenal achievements that were possible just once he was completely hooked. It left me with question:
If you could use all of your brain's capacity, what would you do differently? What sort of things would you start to do that you have never tried before (or maybe attempted but you couldn't adequately get your head round things)? Alternatively, what things would you want to be able to do even faster or more efficiently than currently?
I feel its one of those questions that gets you thinking about what you really want from life, along the lines of, 'If you won the lottery...' yet this one is different. Winning the lottery relies very heavily on luck. That and buying a ticket of course. Having an extra hour in a day relies on bending some serious physical laws of the universe. Miracles taking place might be similarly unbelievable for you.
Using more of your brain though...? Yes, I suspect that we will never fully harness its complete power but could we get more from it? If you watch the power of the subconscious that Derren Brown can put to use, in himself and in others, you realy have to say yes! But even without that, most of us are aware that we could be better in some way that we use our heads.
Maybe its as simple as focussing our brain power on one specific area that we feel is important or interesting to get more from - a simple time management issue. Or thinking more creatively about a current issue. Whatever we think we would like more brain capacity to deal with, we probably already have the untapped potential which suggests something else is stopping us instead. So then the question becomes, 'what is stopping you from achieving what you want to do?'

I've just read Jana Kemp's book, No! How One Simple Word Can Transform Your Life, and thought it might be helpful to mention since a number of people I have talked to recently have mentioned an inability to say No! or even just no.
First of all, its useful to remember that saying no to someone does not need to be you rejecting the person, being deliberately difficult or obstructive or trying to damage what the requester represents, be it a job, charity or friendship situation. Life can carry on after you have said no and people will not hate you for the saying if you do it politely, deliberately and firmly.
However if you say yes and don't mean it, that can ultimately get you into more bother when you don't follow through or your yes turns out to have been maybe at best and you start to lose repsect. Unless of course you manage to achieve everything you promised in a fit of superhuman power. And then collapse and pay the price yourself.
Throughout the book, Kemp talks about the Power of No, and she takes Power to stand for:
Purpose - what actually needs to be done here?
Options and resources - even if say no can I offer anything in return or make other suggestions
When - what is the actual deadline and if I say no now can I propose yes for a different deadline
Emotional Ties - how do you feel with yes or no and other feelings related to the request
Rights and Reponsibilities - what are your rights if you say yes or noe.g. rights to call on others to help, recquisition resources for the project
They are certainly topics worth considering before you unthinkingly say yes again but once you have done that you'll need to be assertive in the way you put across any no answer. Be clear, polite and if possible friendly and stick to your guns. If necessary repeat your bottom line until they get it.
The book goes on to look at the idea of self-defence; sometimes you need to say no to defend yourself, your time, health and position. There is also discussion on the ethics of saying yes or no, especially when you don't actually mean it.
I can imagine if you are really struggling to say no a lot of the time and it causes you stress that there are definitely helpful ideas in this book; you probably want to pick and choose which bits you read though.
At the end of the day I suspect, like all self-help type books, it might only take you so far and having someone external (partner, family member, friend or a coach) dedicated to helping you will reap far greater rewards. Get in touch if you want to know how a coach could help you in your particular situation.

Finally, Sir Alex Ferguson is giving interviews to the BBC again and although I don't always agree with his interpretation of events, it was good to hear him being interviewed again on MOTD. For seven years he has refused them his opinion simply because he took offence to theirs. Some of you will remember that in 2004 the Beeb ran a programme making allegations about Sir Alex's son Jason. He thought it an attack on his son's honour and demanded an apology, that was not forthcoming.

That he is a great manager is undisputed; one of the greatest of all time anywhere in the world. It also seems that he has a huge dislike of the media generally - with countless stories in existence to back that up. In fact the Times' Chief Sport Writer on Friday called him 'a bully but a captivating one'

His greatness and his attitude to the media I believe lead back to some of the values that Ferguson holds dear. One of these is a no-compromise stance that smacks of a deeply-rooted sense of right and wrong that must be adhered to - there is no middle ground. Whether we think he is biased in how he perceives things is of little consequence; in fact none at all to him, since he is the sole arbiter on matters of justice, particularly as far as Man Utd are concerned.

The other thing you notice without having to study him too hard is that he loves control; in fact you struggle to imagine him without it - it is a central part of who he is. Whether he is trying to bend referees to his view, exercise influence over other managers or bring (sometimes errant) players into line, having control is what Sir Alex not only does but is.

Could you say so clearly what it is that defines who you are and how you do things? If not, read my latest article on Values to point you in the right direction.

As you will no doubt have become aware last week, Steve Jobs has resigned from his job as CEO of Apple. Again. Although judging from his recent medical history this one will be final. Cue lots of write-ups in the papers about what he has done for Apple over the years since he started the company but the bits that particularly interested me were all the comments about him as a person, not simply his achievements; partly because people are infinitely interesting but also because it links with the latest article I wrote about Values.
Jobs apparently was far from perfect in some regards but he certainly seems to have been a driven man with an uncanny ability to foretell the future and what people will want in terms of technology. On its own though that would have merely paid the bills as a fortune teller. Instead he also provided the products to infatuate a world, built from within his and Apple's value system. He was a perfectionist with an attention to detail that beggars belief - the one most quoted is of him phoning another Apple executive on a day off because he noticed that the Google icon was the wrong shade of yellow on the iPhone - getting the details right  was apparently quite important to him!
He was also marked out by his pioneering emphasis on design in all it's fullness. He wasn't just satisfied with providing technology for public consumption; for him it was important that Apple married technology with the liberal arts, married with the humanities to produce results to make the heart sing.
He was ambitious and had a vision of changing the world that he held in the forefront to inspire and guide him - he even used it to lure others to his company. He is now compared to Edison as someone who has changed the world. He had his values, that attitudes that shaped him that were important driveer through everything that he did, he stuck to them and was successful in his own eyes.
In a speech in 2005 Jobs said, "Our time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice."
He is right. We need to work out what we stand for and value it. If you haven't already, download the free Values Pack to help you work through a process of nailing down what is important for you. Then live by it.

I've just tried to get a doctor's appointment. Nothing serious - I just thought that maybe I ought to get a proper professional opinion on my back. The system with our surgery is that you phone up at 0830 and make an appointment. I phoned at 0829 and was too early and they told me to phone back. So I did, repeatedly, for the next 15 minutes - probably of the order of 50 times. At 0845 it was no longer engaged and I got through. "Sorry we have no more apointments for today".

They say that 'if you always do what you have always done, you'll always get what you've always got'. If you don't make changes then don't expect different results - in fact I think there is another quote that suggests that he who does expect something different is an idiot.

What kept me doing the phone thing? Was it misguided or was it an exception to the rule, suggesting that perseverance will pay off in the long run? There are obviously two sides to this argument; the one that suggests you need to change something each time to eventually find success and the counter argument that says if you know that success is just round the corner then keep going.

Edison is the oft-quoted example; was it 10,000 failures or 10,000 iterations before he produced the lightbulb? What I only found our recently though was his perseverance with Direct Current (DC) in the face of one of his students championing Alternating Current (AC) - the stuff that now comes out of power sockets in your house. He even went as far as trying to sabotage the introduction of AC, saying it was unsafe.

What things are we doing that we need to evaluate and possibly stop because it's taking us in the wrong direction? Which actions do we need to persevere with because we know that they are going to get us to the goal in the end? If we can distinguish between these two, we could be on the way to great things.

I slipped on the ice on Sunday - vicious nasty black stuff formed from the layer of sleet the previous night. A comic book fall - my legs went out from under me and I landed on my back. On the steps. Really rather painful and I probably should have gone to A&E rather than getting on a plane to Germany, but work beckoned. Thankfully this week I am only running outdoor team building sessions which doesn't need a huge physical input from me otherwise I would be in a spot of bother owing to my enforced movement impairment.

It has made me think though, particularly following a conversation I had with some older ladies about their inability to do crafts now that the arthritis has taken hold. What will we do if and when we lose the ability to do the things we love?

Have you stopped to consider it or are you, like me, guilty of thinking that you will simply be as able as you are now until suddenly you get hit by a bus? I don't want to think of my faculties failing - who does - but in the back of my mind there has always been the thought that one day I will not be able to do outdoor activities at my current level. As for planning round that, I seem to have done nothing.

When is the right time to start planning for that moment, given that the timescale is completely unknown? When I'm 40 or 50 or 60? Or now, whilst it has impinged on my conscious and has become much more of a possible reality? I know that if I wait until I am better again, I will lose the impetus and that probable picture will fade from memory.

Change is never easy and the first step in managing it is to accept it as a reality and let go of the former things. Only after that can we reprogramme and move into the new beginnings. What stage have you got to in your future thinking?

I was away over new year with some friends and their children and the theme of 'stopping doing' cropped up quite often, particularly as we were accommodated in someone else's quite pristine new home. Of particular concern were the games of ice-hockey on the wooden floors and the integrity of the glass balcony rail. Thankfully everything survived intact and we left the house the way we had found it.

As well as the children though, we did have several discussions about the way people who have stopped doing something, such as work, can then fit other things in their place. Retired people have more flexibility and so can make use of good off-peak offers and one of my friends has just finished part-time study for a Masters and we talked about being more available at home. This all led on to thinking about the busyness we experience daily. Hopefully over Christmas at some stage you were able to stop. To sit. To be. The holidays will be over very soon though (unless of course you're already back at work - sorry) and the busyness starts all over again.

What could you do differently in 2011 to make more time: not actually extra hours over and above your allotted 24 but more available hours within the day? What would you stop doing? The book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible talks about there being a season for every activity under the sun, including a time to keep and a time to throw away - some things we can instantly identify as being precious and we must keep them, others will obviously be jettisoned. There will always be activities howeve, that are like the keepsakes from our childhood - when space is at a premium we need to make some hard decisions. How do we decide?

Jim Collins talks about the 20-10 problem which says:
Suppose you woke up tomorrow and received two phone calls. The first one told you that you had won £20 million with no strings attached. The second phone call informed you that you had no more than 10 years to live. What would you do differently tomorrow and in subsequent weeks and months? In particular, what would you stop doing? Maybe your 2011 assignment should be to find your answers.